Being a full-time working mummy, I have always wished to shorten my working hours so that I can spend more time with XH. But I have never felt any serious sense of guilt when I go to work until this morning - XH was crying loudly and he ran to the door when he saw me leaving home. After I explained to him that I am going to work and will come back later to fetch him, he waved goodbye to me while still crying.... suddenly, I had a feeling that he needs me a lot. Or rather, I felt that I suddenly became very important to him at that moment... ironically, this kind of feeling is not something that I can always feel being his mother as I am not the sole care-giver - because he is used to spending majority of its time without me around him.... however, that little sense of gladness was quickly turned into more sense of guilt when I had to go to work.
Every morning he will either sleepily wave goodbye to me or he would still be sleeping when I leave him with my mother. Today, I just stayed with him at my mum's house for a little while more before I leave for work as I'm on a course today and it only starts at 9am - this disruption to his usual routine probably caused my precious boy to be very upset this morning....
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